In My Heart

Written 10-4-2010 @ 8:14 pm

Is there no one left?
Am I the last one alive?
Chivalry must be dead
Purity taken prisoner by desire
God, prepare my man
Send him my way
And I'll give him my hand
In my heart he can stay

If It's You

I feel you here in my room
And I wonder every day
If you could be here soon
And how long I'll have to wait
Sometimes I'm so sure I'll know
Cause I know you'll be different
But how much longer do I have to go?
I wish you could give me a hint
An image of you is burned into my mind
Like I'd know you if I saw you
You'll probably be so hard to find
But I know you'll find me if it's you

Someone For Me

Written 7-17-2010 @ 1:48 am

I feel so empty
Here in this room
With thoughts of fall
Already in bloom
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to hide
Just wait another day
Til this feeling subsides
But I'm so different
Not like other girls
Is there someone out there
For me in this world?
=?

My Fate

Written 7-12-2010 @ 7:56 pm

Is love even real
I wonder every day
Everything that I feel
Can it really be fake
Am I dreaming
I honestly can't say
But I will say one thing
Without any more delay
Life isn't worth living
If real love is not my fate

Open Your Eyes

Written 7-3-2010 @ 7:57 pm

when you open your eyes
there's always a new day
a new surprise
it could be anything
and it might be right
if you believe it could happen
and just open your eyes
you might be delighted
at what you'll find
if you open your eyes

Eyes, Mind, and Heart, Wide Open, Waiting for You

Hey You

I can't seem to think about anything but you lately.
I don't know what to do, and I can't help wondering if you're really out there. You are, right? I feel like such a worthless person, and I can't help feeling like after I've found you, then you won't want me. But I guess that means that person wouldn't be you, since I'm going to marry you someday. I really can't wait for that day. I sound sooooo pathetic. Am I stupid for doing this? Writing a blog to you when it could be you don't even exist? I wanna say I know you do, but I can't, because I don't. I know it's possible that God doesn't have anyone for me. That's probably my biggest and worst fear of all time. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with just anyone. I don't wanna be with my family, or even my friends. They don't fill the part of my heart that's yours, and I wouldn't want them to, cause you just have to come around someday. I just have to wait. I hate waiting so much. I'm sorry for that. I know God has his perfect timing and all, but I just want you, need you now, you know? Even if I'm only sixteen, I don't care. I'm fine with being married right out of high school if I really do find you. And if you really, really want a kid someday, I'd have one for you, I think. Maybe. I just don't wanna be a Paul. I know he was a great guy and all, a wonderful Christian, but he was all alone. He spent his life in prison for God. He never married. I feel like he didn't even get to live his life, you know? I wanna live for God, but I also want to experience life, like, the whole thing. I want you in my life, I need you in my life. Someone who won't get bored of me, who I don't have to apologize to for talking! Someone who wants to know everything about me, who wants to and needs to hear me talk. Why is this so hard? I wish I had some clues, some answers.
<3 TaBiThA

My Midnight

Written 6-15-2010 @ 2:59 pm

Yet another lifeless, lonely day
Playing at my heart-strings
Happiness doesn't seem to stay
While the sun is shining

I have to wait until darkness comes
To finally have your peace
Only when the daytime is done
I can feel you with me

All night long, I can't sleep
Until it brightens outside
When I sleep, I also find your peace
And a new hope to find you, My Midnight

Inside Your Arms

Written 6-6-2010 @ 12:31 am

Darkness falls on me
An eternity I can't see
Beckoning to one
Who will never come
I'm in love with you somewhere
Please just take me there
I'm restless without you near
Please shatter all my fears
I wish to be somewhere warm
Folded safe inside your arms

Withdrawn

Written 6-5-2010 @ 5:18 pm

My brother probably
Will have already had
His very first kiss
Before I even hold your hand
It's so far away
The time passes so slow
I wonder how much longer
I have to go
It's so hard to wait
Everything feels wrong
Without you here with me
I feel so withdrawn

Hello

Written 4-29-2010 @ 11:52 pm

Hello World
You look bright today
Hello school
You exist to my dismay
Hello God
I know I have to wait
Hello You
I can't wait to hear you say
Hello

Live Through The Death

Written 4-1-2010 @ 6:39 am

If I stay here
Alone
I die

If I leave
All alone
I will die

If I carry on
With you
I will live
Through the death

The Key To My Heart

Written 3-11-2010

Who will I give
The key to my heart
Or will I never
Give it away?
Yeah it's a sad way to live
To be kept locked inside
When all you can do
Is wonder when...and who
My heart is a garden
I'm crying inside
Because there's no one there
Knocking from outside
I wonder will I be
Alone forever?
A few times I've almost
Let someone inside
I used to think I had
But now I've changed my mind
Because had I done that
I would be sad all my life
I hope someone comes soon
Though I am young
For all I wish to be
Is in love
Are you there?
I have something to give you
If you want it
The key to my heart

Never Say Goodbye

Written 1-22-2010 @ 1:03 pm

To see you would be
A gift from above
To find you would be
A realization of love
If only you were here
My tears would be dry
But instead I now wait
In my room alone I hide
In my heart I can see
What I dream every night
When we will be free
The day we'll never say goodbye

Come And Find Me

Written 10-30-2009 @ 4:48 pm

So maybe I changed my mind
Or maybe I'm out of it
I know true love is hard to find
But it's my only wish

Why do I always find the one
And he never likes me-
I'm beginning to come undone
And I'm never really happy

I'm losing all my hope
Can't find a point to anything
I'm sending up a message in smoke
Wishing you'd come and find me

This Is Our World

Written 10-14-2009 @ 2:37 am

I'm the girl
You never knew
You were lookin' for
Converse shoes
Nothing to lose
Yeah I'm that girl

And you're the guy
Caught my eye
What a world
Close your eyes
Say goodbye
This is what we hoped for

Me and you, you and I
What a perfect world
Say goodbye, close your eyes
This is our world

My Happy Ending

Written 10-13-2009 @ 11:57 pm

There's always a second chance
A new beginning
A hope to find someone
For love never-ending
Though we may never see it now
There's always a new day
Though he left and now is gone
It's never too late
So I'll never give up hope
On a new beginning
I'll trust that I'll find someone
I'll have my happy ending

Someone

Written 10-12-2009 around 10:40 pm

I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna know

I don't wanna be strong
Don't wanna move on
But I have to

I don't wanna give up
I just wanna believe
That I'll find someone

Love Is Hope

Written 10-1-2009 @ 12:15 pm

Love is hope
To move on
To hold on
When I'm wrong
Love is what
What I believe
Keeps me strong
Helps me carry on
Love is faith
In the one
Who cares about you most
Even when you're wrong
Love is when
Someone dies
For who they love
No greater love is spoken of
Love is waiting
For the one
Your truest love
When love is hope

My True Love

Written 9-28-2009 @ 7:35 pm

Summer's over
Fall has come
Season that I
Used to love

Troubled times are
Far from my mind
Forgetting how I used to
Live my life

Letting go of
All I was
Holding out for
My true love

Like Life Is A Dream

When you wish
Upon a star
Things get better
Than they are
When you wish
Upon a dream
Things are better
Than they seem
When you love someone
You'll feel
Like life is a dream